Our fading president, Chris Gallagher, strafed us into a semblance of order.  He paid tribute to our current R.I. President Holger Knaack, who like Top Gun will be flying off into the sunset at the end of this month.  Holger looks forward to spending more time with his family, especially his young son, Nick. Yes, Nick Knaack will be able to go camping with his dad, and “paddy whack” around. 
Our Greeter, Cheri Braga, led the Salute and shared a Thought for the Day from Maya Angelou : “Success in yourself, what you do and how you do it.” She is home from traveling and has a new person in her life.  We shouted “Aloha” into the ether.  We learned that Steven Porschet has finally gotten engaged.  They hope to hold the wedding sometime this decade. Gary Sloan, always the statistician, calculates that Interact members at Cal High spent 1400 hours this school year performing community service.  Someone suggested that we explore the possibility of their taking us in.
“The News You May Have Missed”                                                                                      
A job as a “Nap Reviewer,” paying $1500 for 30 naps. (I’ve got it covered.)
A company announced it is seeking "nap reviewers" to get paid $1,500 each to take daily naps for 30 days and document the experience.   Over the course of 30 days, our dedicated nappers will be required to take part in a variety of experiments testing out theories such as the best nap duration for feeling refreshed, the effects of napping on overall levels of fatigue, and the effects of napping on memory, motivation and productivity.  The nap reviewers will be required to participate in video calls before and after each nap to document the experience.  Applications for five positions are being accepted
Offer of a bottle of French wine aged for a year in space, a hint of jet fuel. 
Auction house Christie's announced a bottle of French wine that spent more than a year aging on the International Space Station is expected to sell for around $1 million.  The bottle of Petrus 2000 was one of a dozen bottles of wine that were launched into orbit in 2019.  A bottle of the wine that spent time in space was compared to a bottle that aged on Earth in a tasting that featured wine professionals and scientists, and the panel said the space bottle was found to have its own unique flavor profile.  The bottle of wine is being sold with a second bottle that was aged on Earth so the buyer can compare the two. Proceeds are going towards funding future space missions and wine research.
A naked woman removed from a drain twice, in Florida and Texas.
 A woman who was missing for three weeks and then rescued from a Florida storm drain found herself in another underground tunnel system in Texas over the weekend.  Lyndsey Kennedy, climbed out of a 6-foot drain pipe Saturday night and was taken to a hospital.  Kennedy had been checked into a rehabilitation facility in Texas when she wandered off.  Her family tracked her using an app on her cell phone that noted her last location prior to going underground. 
A tee-shirt proclaiming that 4 out of 3 people have trouble with math.
A shirt confessing that a potential suspect was in kindergarten between 4 and 5.
A monkey with a stick about to learn a valuable lesson about hitting lions.
“The Roscars” 
Doing his best imitation of Bert Parks (extra credit if you can identify his most famous gig), Chris Gallagher opened the Rotary Award extravaganza, the first since 2007, when he did it last and the joke was still fresh. 
Chris thanked his sponsor in Rotary from 23 years ago, Barry Toby, who uncharacteristically had nothing to say. 
The president then thanked his Board Members, most of whom are in the Witness Protection program.
Past President Colette Lay who pioneered our Zoom meeting format in 2 weeks. 
Treasurer-for-Life Geoff Disch who has another five years to serve.
Secretary Garth Riopelle who said he would do Chris a favor.
Sergeant-at-Arms Julie McKinney, our Keeper of the Marbles. 
Membership Chair Chris Gayler: “I don’t know why you would want to join.”
Member-at-Large Norbert Walz: “Make that just Large Member.”
Community Service Karen McNamara unusual projects at home and abroad.
Club Service Julie Fielder who throws great Club parties. 
Innovation Director Priya Jhingan coaxing some of us into the 21st century. 
Youth Service Gary Sloan who inspires kids from Hawaiian beaches.
International Service Director Kathy Gailey who keeps discovering new countries.
Vocational Service Patti Hennigan who does an outstanding job with scholarships.
Public Relations Vera Packard who posts club news every other day. 
President-Elect Terry Koehne who is making an “enemies list” like Nixon.
Then came the Major Awards.                                                                       
The Red Badge of the Year goes to the Rotarian who demonstrates significant support during the first year of membership. Our winner, Kerry Richards, headed the Shields, Masks and Meals for Caregivers programs, worked on the Trinity Center Collection for the Homeless and the Senior Center Drive-by Lunch, and had the Best Story at the Valentine’s Day lunch involving jest skis.  He got the perpetual plaque for a year. 
The Hall of Fame Award which is optional is given to the Rotarian who consistently through the years put service above self. This year’s recipient Karen McNamara was the Red Badge of the Year in 2007 and lives the definition of Service Above Self at home and abroad.  She organized the Trinity Center program, our drive for the Contra Costa Food Bank, served as Chairperson of the Foundation and other efforts. She got the perpetual plaque with all winners’ names.
The Hammer Award is given annually to who goes above and beyond the call of duty and is instrumental in getting things done.  The current president makes this selection as this person makes the club work during the president’s term.  This year the Hammer Award goes to Priya Jhingan.  Chris remarked that she always says yes when asked to help but adds “let’s be a little more innovative.”  She is an expert on Disruptive Thinking.
The Rotarian of the Year is selected by all the past Rotarians of the Year, which is an extensive and fractious group. After a prolonged discussion they decided that Julie McKinney should be honored this year.  The award recognizes her willingness to help out in many ways, her support for the current president, her provision of venues for socially distanced meetings for the Board and social events and her successful running of the raffles and work as a Scribe. Julie will receive a full Paul Harris Fellowship of $1,000 in recognition.
The final award was the Life Line, introduced by Past President Robin Stevens, which recognizes anyone who has been of help to the president.  Chris named his wife Renee Gallagher who gave the most moving remarks of the day: “I was drunk when I first met him, drunk when I married him and I’m still drunk.”
After the meeting there was a brief discussion of possible changes in our meeting.  We have to decide if we are going back to strictly face-to-face assemblies or some combination of live and remote.  We are seriously considering leaving the country club, since the new management has drastically increased the costs.  We also have to decide how often we shall meet.  The Board will keep us informed and solicit feedback.  Look for a questionnaire soon.
Marco Bronzini is the next Greeter.